Monday, April 30, 2007

Warning Signs.

So, this kid has jeapordized his future with the Marine Corps simply because he wrote an essay that states: "“Blood, sex and booze. Drugs, drugs, drugs are fun. Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab, s...t...a...b...puke. So I had this dream last night where I went into a building, pulled out two P90s and started shooting everyone, then had sex with the dead bodies. Well, not really, but it would be funny if I did.”
His lawyer states: “There was never any warning from the teacher that if she determined the paper to be offensive, she would then pass it along to the authorities.”

First of all... isn't that warning implied? Do our teachers really need to footnote every assignment with a statement indicating that the authorities will be notified if the student's actions are not in line with appropriate safety measures?
Second of all... if no one had been notified and this kid had come to school with "...two p90s and started shotting everyone..." wouldn't we be kicking ourselves for ignoring the warning signs?
Third... do we really want someone in the Marine Corps if he's made it to April of his Senior Year of high school and still hasn't learned that this may not be the most appropriate way to express himself on a creative writing assignment?

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Don't read this...

It's not worth your time. Honestly... who gives a rat's @$$?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

VT Grammar

I hate to make light of the VT massacre. While I am horrified at the actions of the gunman and the tragedy that ensued, I am also chagrined at the grammar and writing of a Dateline corrospondent Hoda Kotb. Her article indicates that she has Orange and Maroon blood, but no skills as a journalist. I'm appalled.

Her first sentence should be three sentences.
Her first paragraph ends with a preposition.
Her reference to school colors mispells "their".
Most of her commas should be periods or semi-colons.
She's "really hopeful".

Friday, April 13, 2007

Misleading Headlines.

Upon seeing the headline, I thought that this was definately an article for this blog. I thought that the man trying to steal an ATM lost his leg. I was excited to read about how the ATM fell on his leg and it was severed from his body. I was chuckling thinking about this guy in prison in a wheel-chair or hopping around on one foot for the rest of his life all because he thought it was a good idea to steal an ATM machine.
Little did I realize that he had already lost his leg. During the robbery attempt and subsequent flight, his prosthetic leg fell off. Still funny, but not quite as humorous as I had first thought.

Hold off on that Darwin Award nomination.

Monday, April 9, 2007

I'm baffled...

Iraq: No, we do not have weapons of mass destruction.

USA: Well, we don't believe you, so we're coming in to find them.

Iran: Hey guys, we're enriching uranium and should have enough for a nuclear weapon in about a year! We have up to 3,000 centrifuges doing the work.

USA: Well, we don't believe you. Since our President isn't very popular right now, we're not going to do anything to you.

But, look out for Ban Ki-moon. He's pissed, and he has the power to sanction you!

Monday, April 2, 2007

Offensive History

When studying history, simply omit the historical periods that cause you great discomfort or offense.

I have decided that there was no 42nd President of the United States. I am also quite certain that the Texas Rangers were the World Series Champions in 1994, and referees did not exist in June of 2006.